Where Laughter Meets Lunacy

Well, we took our last “assessment” today. Another 95%:/ I wanted 100%, even just once. Just can’t seem to kill that perfectionist in me. Today was my Friday so I’ve got two days to prepare for our first day taking real live calls. O M G. I’m actually less nervous about it today than I have been, not sure why. I think it’s because I just want it to be over with so I don’t have to wonder how that first call is going to be. That and I laughed more today then I have in like the last 2 years put together. I nearly broke a rib! I’m glad our class is finally all coming together as a team, it feels good. I’m going to bawl like a baby when we split up. I am in the process of killing a pretty bad headache so this will be it for now. But cross your fingers for us all on Tuesday!

I’ve know this to be true for quite some time now. But today is the first day in a while I’ve been so frustrated, angry and upset I wasn’t sure whether to laugh or cry, so naturally, I did both. I desperetely need Valium! It wasn’t just one thing that happened and then I freaked out a little and got over it. No, it was the entire damn day that sucked monkey nuts. Even when I was laughing with my friends I still felt the urge to completely flip out and start throwing things, like a small child throwing a tantrum. I’m not even sure why. Ok, so I had a nightmare that was work related. Well, that happens more often than not, so nothing new there. Yes, I felt horribly tired when I woke up and just wanted to never get out of bed. Again, really not a new occurance. I hate feeling like this, but what I hate even more is not knowing why I am feeling this way. Nothing new that hasn’t been happening everyday for a while is going on, so, WHAT  THE  FUCK?!?! I’ll tell you what, as soon as that health insurance kicks in (assuming I haven’t been fired yet) I’m finding a damn doctor that will give me some Valium for days like this. I can’t stand feeling like there is molten lava spewing out of my eyes and mouth and anyone that crosses my path is going to get burned. I’m talking third degree here ok, serious business.

Guess it’s once again been a while since I’ve posted here. We are approaching the halfway point in training at my new job. As with anything it has it’s ups and downs. I have met some really awesome people, so that’s cool. Going into this job I had my doubts if I could hack it or not, still do. Only time will tell I suppose. I try to be positive and remember my other jobs that I picked up quickly and did well in. Then I remember that this is completely different than anything I’ve done. I’ve done each component of the job before, but not really all at the same time while dealing with big expectations and time constraints. So far we’ve managed to only need to go out drinking one time in 3 weeks, although we are planning an outing tomorrow night I believe due to today being payday (first one in a year for me) and tomorrow being our “Friday”. I haven’t been spending too much time even near the computer since I started working. I come home brain dead and tired and just want to lay down and not have to think about a single thing. Everyday in training is a massive “data dump” to my brain but I’m told it will all come together and even though I feel like nothing is sticking around in that head of mine it’s just hiding and will come out when needed. Here’s hoping! Off to the store to get some tomatoes and onions for our “sandwich” potluck tomorrow.